Note to self:
Wipe that stupid smile off your face, and take the words “So… when are you due?” out of your vocabulary. She’s not pregnant. And you’re dead.
Health Wisdoh
Note to self:
Everyone enjoys jumping on a bed once in awhile. Not everyone is aware of a spinning ceiling fan directly above it.
Note to self:
When you feel compelled to attempt lighting your farts on fire to impress your girlfriend (science!) – stay away from flammables, and keep an extinguisher handy. Just in case.
Note to self:
Resist the urge to kiss a woman while she’s having an orgasm! She’s prone to sudden moves. Her teeth might turn out to be stronger than yours, and you will have a hard time trying to explain the damage to your dentist.
Note to self:
I’m not sure how else to put it, so I’ll just say it. Don’t take a sleeping pill and a laxative together. Just don’t, okay?