Did you say I need stitches on my head, doctor?
Note to self:
Everyone enjoys jumping on a bed. Not everyone is aware of a spinning ceiling fan directly above it.
Home Wisdoh
I’m going shopping. For new window curtains.
Note to self:
When you feel compelled to attempt lighting your farts on fire to impress your girlfriend (science!) – stay away from flammables, and keep an extinguisher handy. Just in case.
This leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Note to self:
If you absolutely must unclog your toilet, do yourself a favor and plunge with your mouth closed. Just trust me on this one.
There’s a major cleanup operation in my bathroom.
Note to self:
Have you seen that TV commercial where they flush a bunch of golf balls down the toilet? For some reason, attempting to replicate it at home seemed like a good idea at the time.